Worst TV commercial ever? A.K.A. Exposing “Sad-vertising”

In a country divided, I believe we can all agree on the fact that not one of us (fetishists aside) needs to see some stranger’s feet.
 
Fact!
 
No one needs to see some guy take off their shoes, peel away their socks, spread their toes, and wave their foot meat in your personal space.
 
Can I get an, Amen?!!
 
So, now that we’ve all united beneath this giant, cozy umbrella of basic human understanding…
 
Why, I ask, WHY is there a TV commercial running where this exact foot-baring behavior I’ve described is not only being celebrated, but being used to sell a product?
 
The advertiser is Mattress Firm.
 
Yes, I am naming names.
 
Here’s what went down…
 
Mr. Parker and I were home one afternoon, minding our own business. The Phillies game was on TV, which means that Mr. Parker’s attention was elsewhere. (I’m not offended.)
 
Suddenly and without warning, beamed into the sanctity of my home—a zone that should be safe from such atrocity—was a commercial so off-putting, so abhorrent, so skin-crawlingly skeevy, that my professional advertising brain went berserk.
 
Note: If you don’t know (or even if you do), I spent most of my adult life working as a creative director in advertising, both for big agencies and for my own company. That means I have opinions on things like TV commercials. I’ve made hundreds of them.
 
So, in this commercial, we are all on an airplane. Close shot of a man sitting in his coach-class aisle seat as he proceeds to remove his shoe, followed by a sock that apparently missed the bleached-load on laundry day. (You can’t smell it, but you can.)
 
The camera cuts to a tight shot of the man’s foot as he spreads his toes wide as if each of his sweaty little piggies had just woken up.
 
I’ll pause while you gag.
 
Ready to go on?
 
Okay. He then slaps his moist hoof onto the armrest of the total stranger seated in front of him. She is appropriately put out, as is a woman across the aisle.
 
Witnessing this, the flight attendant asks him with bald-faced disdain and contempt, “How do you sleep?”
 
His response?
 
“Oh, on a mattress from Mattress Firm. So, I sleep…”
 
CUE THE MUSIC: Lionel Ritchie singing, “All night long...’
 
The Mattress Firm logo comes up as this buffoon adds insult to injury by thrusting all of his weight back into his seat, causing the man behind him to spill his drink.

And this utter lack of self-awareness, this ode to our worst possible form of public behavior, is what the fine folks at Mattress Firm would like you to see and say, “Yup. That’s me. I want to get my mattress from Mattress Firm so I can be just like that total ass.”
 
But the blame doesn’t stop with the advertiser. Oh, no. There are layers of advertising professionals who presented this nauseating bit of sad-vertising to the client,  including:

• The fresh-out-of-college art director and copywriter who were said to each other, “Dude, you know what would be funny?”
• The executive creative director, who was too busy writing the second draft of his screenplay to say, “Total rank-amateur borrowed interest, and by the way, disgusting. Try again.”
• The account executive who actually hated it but thought, “I bet I can sell this debacle.” And since she’d recently given up gambling on sports, the challenge of trying to sell pure garbage while wearing a straight face and a pencil skirt offered her a much-needed dopamine rush.

 
Was I there to know these are the facts? No.
 
But, in a way, yes.
 
I’m not going to lecture a nice person like you about good advertising. You’re likely not in the business, therefore have committed no such crime. And you likely care a lot less about bad selling practices than I do.
 
But in a home purchased and populated by two former-ish ad people (you never really stop playing the game), the conversations, the head-shaking, the out-and-out “What the f*ck!” of it all went on for days.  
 
Honestly, we’re still not over it.
 
So, I ask you. Would seeing this behavior make you think, “Wow, this guy is getting great sleep. I want in. Sweetheart, Google Map the nearest Mattress Firm.”
 
Or are you so put out that you may spend the coming week sleeping on the floor?
 
Would love to hear thoughts on this one.
 
Cheers and stay careful-ish.
Honey Parker
 
P.S. No one wants to hear people crunching or slurping in their advertising either. Just sayin.’