Yogurt - Good to the last scrape? Or, how poor are you?

For clarity, I am not about to rail against the poor. For those who can’t afford to let go of one precious drop of nutrition, food waste is not a joke. My guess is, if your situation is that dire, you’re not wasting your time reading my frivolous blog.
 
For further clarity, I’m not against the idea of eating yogurt. Please know that yogurt is not the real issue here. I happen to be a fan of yogurt. Real yogurt. Not a cup of something that’s more chemistry than cultures created in the name of being low-fat or zero-fat. And in fairness, some of these use stevia, which is not a chemical. It just tastes like one.
 
There is room in my world for both cow yogurt and goat yogurt, as well as regular and Greek-style yogurts. I typically grab plain yogurt and add blueberries, or honey and almonds. I might even throw in some flax seed. (Fiber, good.)
 
At our house, we buy the 32-ounce containers. When we feel like making what I call a “yogurt treat,” I spoon some into a small dish, add my toppings (or bottomings—sometimes the berries go in first), stir and enjoy. I’m not a single-serving-container kinda gal. And those single-serving containers is where this very real issue begins.
 
Again, it’s not about the yogurt. It is the single-serving vessel and the bizarre need that some folks possess to scrape every last drop of food from its confines. So you could apply this rant to people eating single servings of cottage cheese, or pudding, or anything that one might be compelled to scrape and over-scrape at until they’re confident they’ve left nothing for even the smallest of scavengers to enjoy.
 
Yogurt scraping as a compulsion is baffling to me for several reasons:

• 1) It can’t be enjoyable. I am a person who wants my last bite or spoonful of whatever I’m eating to be satisfying. Leave on a high note. Leave them wanting more. How is that meager fingernail-sized quantity of yogurt enjoyable in any way?
  • a) Your hot-panic scape-scrape-scraping and eventual eating of that last scrape-scrap after five or twelve other such panicked efforts? Not enjoyable. You know this.
  • b) All the friction you’re creating is causing that tiniest of scant servings to actually heat up. Warm yogurt? Not delightful.
• 2) You’re contaminating your food. With all of that energetic scraping, how much of the plastic cup is actually starting to mix into your yogurt treat? Granted, this was more of an issue back in the Dannon waxed-cup days. Still, some of you are digging deep.
• 3) Just get another damn yogurt. Are you still hungry? Then stop asking your single-serving to go beyond its capabilities. Thank it for its service and move on. I’ve seen men in Armani suites unwilling to waste the final 7/1000th of a penny of the “food” still in that cup. Are you that stingy, or do you just hate losing?
• 4) You look like a vulture. No one who’s hunched over a 6-oz. plastic container is experiencing any meaningful selfawareness. With their shoulders rolled in and their face inching closer down to the cup with each scrape, their world becomes the tunnel between them and that sixteenth of an ounce of key lime pie-flavored goop, which is now, by the way, mixed with their own saliva.
• 5) I can hear you! If you are someone for whom mouth noises is a thing, then you know the issue actually goes well beyond the crunching or the slurping. Any sounds that are food-associated can be problematic. The tink-tink-tink of a spoon repeatedly tapping the side of a tea cup can also be irksome. But nothing stops traffic like the repeated scraping of a plastic spoon on the sides and bottom of a plastic cup that NO LONGER HAS ANY EFFING YOGURT IN IT! AGGH!

 
Am I making too much out of this whole thing? I have two answers to that question.

• 1) I may be. That is why, when I encounter someone displaying this abhorrent behavior, I say nothing and drown them out with earphones and music. (Chet Baker’s “Yogurt Cup In Blue” is my current go-to.)
• 2) No! Have some self-awareness and a little dignity—at least enough to fill a single-serve yogurt cup.

 
Have I gone too far?  What is it that humans do to make you bananas? (Bananas, just peel and eat. No scraping required.)