HONEY PARKER BOOKS
  • Home
  • Bio
  • Blog
  • Videos
  • Press
  • Fans
  • Contact

Mask vs. Nose Job

7/28/2021

2 Comments

 
Picture
I am one of the few people bummed at masking rules being loosened. And no, it’s not flattering. It’s 100% vanity.
 
I hate my nose!
 
There. I said it. I never talk about it but it’s bothered me all my life. My nose is, in a word, large. It’s the kind of ethnic nose that makes people say things like, “But it’s a part of you.” “We love you the way you are.” Or my personal fave, “It gives you character.” Really? I’m lousy with character. I have too much character. My character should be continued on the next person. I don’t need an oversized nose to let folks in on that non-secret.
 
Over the years, I’ve considered and reconsidered getting a nose job--a process more attractively known as rhinoplasty. Hello, rhino!
 
But then came the mask mandates. At the beginning, they took some getting used to. How many times did I get to a destination and realize I had to go back home and get a mask? We finally started leaving them in the car.
 
And then came the inevitable pictures. I always have my phone with me which for me (as it is for most teenage girls) at least as much of a camera as a communication device. In selfies with my mask, I’m reduced to eyes and hair. It’s an image I can live with. The nose? Under there somewhere, but it didn’t pull focus.
 
I imagined that those who knew me might think something like, “I can’t see her nose. I know it’s large, but it’s probably not as large as I remember.” And those who didn’t know me might think, “Hey, is she a WASP?”
 
So, when we began seeing fewer mask requirements, I began feeling a twinge of sadness. I’m as happy as the next person to be able to work out without sucking cotton, or go to a restaurant without accidentally trying to put a fork through my face covering. But I just look better with one on.
 
But now, be still my heart! As I write this, the CDC is talking about going back to masking up in certain situations. I also feel a bit guilty about saying that. Should I be more upset? I’m upset for the social condition, for sure. Was it brought on by my vanity? Probably not. I’m just not that powerful.
 
Ultimately, I’ll follow guidelines and mask up when needed. And I’ll know in my heart that on those occasions, I’ll look like the smaller-nosed person I’d always hoped to be.
 
Stay Careful-ish,
Honey
2 Comments
    Picture

    Author

    Honey Parker has been writing, writing, writing for decades, decades, decades. In there, she has also been a standup comedian, a Hollywood screenwriter, a director, and a co-author of edgy business books. Careful-ish is her debut novel. It is the first in a trilogy. It is comedy-ish. ​

    Archives

    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    July 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020

    Categories

    All
    2021
    Amy Schumer
    Bathroom
    Beer
    Betty White
    Bob Harper
    Body Image
    Bourbon
    Brewery
    Broadway
    Burt Bacharach
    Chris Rock
    Christina Agullera
    Cocktails
    Comedy
    Coronavirus Fiction
    COVID Humor
    COVID Test
    Curvy
    Dolly Parton
    Edward R. Murrow
    Humor
    Humorous Fiction
    Karma
    Kelly Clarkson
    Lady Gaga
    Laughing
    Laughter
    Liza Minelli
    Man-splaining
    Mexico
    Moving
    Music
    New Year
    Oscars
    Park City
    Phifer Pavett
    Podcast
    Rabbit Holes
    Restaurants
    Running
    Satire
    Self Publish
    Shower
    Snack Food
    Testing Positive
    The Crown
    The Kominsky Method.
    Travel
    Vous Carre
    Wanda Sykes
    White Lotus
    Word Meanings

    RSS Feed

Picture

​Join that Careful-sh mailing list!

Picture

​Get a Careful-ish book!

Picture
Follow on Instagram
Picture
Follow on Facebook
TERMS OF SERVICE
PRIVACY POLICY
  • Home
  • Bio
  • Blog
  • Videos
  • Press
  • Fans
  • Contact